Sadly in the place of the Mitch Nightingale updates I am starting a blog....I know you will all miss his emails, maybe I can get him to post here once in a while;)
On the subject of my health and recovery so many of my amazing friends and family are curious and concerned. In order to keep everyone updated who wants to be, I thought I would start a blog to communicate with everyone together. I'm not a dramatic person when it comes to my health, and this feels sort of dramatic and arrogant, in one way, but I feel communication is key, so I want to respond to everyone who wants to know what is going on and how we are doing.
I've thought about doing this for a while, but honestly always felt we were always close to the end of the health struggles. 7 years later I'm starting to realize maybe we are not.
In addition to physical symptoms there are feelings that go along with this disease and illnesses and my medical history. I feel as though I'd be remiss in not mentioning these in case someone else with a chronic illness stumbles upon this or is among my group of friends. It's not that I'm ashamed of these feelings or wish to keep them secret I just greatly prefer focusing on the positive and dealing with the negative aspects on my own. I don't know if this is the right or healthy approach, it is just how I am.
So, I apologize if I get sappy, emotional or seemingly whiny. Those of you who know me well know that that is not my intention and is not who I am. I do not feel sorry for myself, I do not have any thoughts of "why me?" and I understand more than anyone that things could be a whole lot worse. I say often that my life is amazing and wonderful and pretty perfect, and it is. I have an amazing husband, beautiful, healthy kids, the most supportive family and friends anyone could hope for and live in a beautiful place in a wonderful cozy house with room enough for plenty of visitors who come frequently. What more could a person ask for?
So this is not anything but an attempt to communicate with family and friends, who are interested, about the status of my health and recovery and how I deal with it on a daily basis. It is also to communicate that anyone suffering from any sort of physical illness also suffers from emotional ups and downs as well. I'm not going to lie and pretend it's not a tough road.
So, let's get started. Why am I here?
There are a laundry list of diagnoses for me: Ankylosing Spondylitis, Fibromyalgia, myofascial pain syndrome, sacroiliac joint dysfunction and osteopenia. I also have a history of endometriosis and am a cancer survivor (thyroid, so they removed it and I take supplemental medication).
That's the rundown. Basically, all of these things, many of them related, cause pain and crushing fatigue, among other things. I struggle most with the pain and immobility in varying degrees and the at times overwhelming fatigue.
The only way we get through all of this is one day at a time. My husband, as most of you know, is a saint and couldn't be more supportive. He makes my life easier and constantly reminds me that life is fantastic in spite of anything I'm going through physically. Sometimes that can be tough when your life seems to revolve around symptoms, Drs appts, treatments and medications; when even the simplest of tasks or outings requires an unbelievable level of planning; or a simple sickness my kids bring home from school can lead to specialists and hospitals for me. He brings me back to what's important- him, our friends and family and, most of all, our kids, R and B. They keep me grounded and sane, even in the insanity that is being a stay at home, disabled mom of two.
The hardest part of all of this is thinking about their lives, including my husband's, now and in the future and how all of this effects them. With these illnesses the future, according to the world of medicine, might not be too great for me health wise and I worry about how that will effect my children as they grow into adulthood.
That's why I need to take a step back and take it a day at a time. Seriously. I may post random entries about something that helped my life be easier or less painful for a brief period of time because, seriously, there's no other way to deal with difficult things in my opinion...Sometimes we may even need to take it just an hour at a time...😜
No comments:
Post a Comment